Where would you go . . . .

I watched the strangest movie last night - Donnie Darko w/Jake Gyllenhaal. I'm still debating w/myself on if I like it or not, but I will tell you, it makes you think about it, A LOT! There is something that happens in the movie that changes the course of his life. It made me think about what I would change if I could go back in time and do it differently - and know I was doing it differently. If I had one chance to change one thing, what would I choose? This thought kept me awake all night, and I couldn't choose one thing, there were so many, how could I choose just one event....

1) My grandma died on my 5th b-day in 1965, and I was already very close to her since we lived w/my grandparents while my dad was in Vietnam. If it were possible, I'd go back and tell her that her heart was going to give out soon and that she needed to take care of it before my b-day. I don't even know if they could do anything back then, but she had no warning.

2) My friend Val died my senior year in high school. He went rock climbing and fell to his death. I would go back and stop him so that his family and his friends wouldn't have grieved such a loss. He was a beautiful man, with a beautiful spirit and he knew how to have fun.

3) I would love to go back to the day my high school boyfriend got in a car accident that changed his life. It wasn't fatal, but they had to put his head in traction for a month. After that accident, he became addicted to pain killers and alcohol. He never was the same after that. I saw him about 8 years ago and he was going into another facility to dry him out. To this day, his mom doesn't have contact w/him. Like any girl in high school, I thought he was the one I'd marry, but he abused himself to the point I couldn't stay w/him any longer.

4) I was dating my ex and flirting w/someone who was a customer at the bank I worked for at the time. I know he was interested in me and we had lunch a few times. I wonder what would have happened if I would have opened door number two, instead of getting pregnant....(and believe me, I would in no way change having my sons, but, I still wonder)....

5) Which leads me to wonder, what my life would have been like if I'd known Christ personally at this juncture in my life, instead of later when things were hard in my marriage.

6) I also wonder, knowing what I know now, would I change the course of my marriage (my mistakes, my blunders). Would I change how I was towards my ex, or would I let it run its course? I'm not sure about this because I feel so much happier w/out him, but would have staying w/him change my sons in any way? I feel they're great kids (young men), but would their lives be different if we would have stayed together?

There are many things I would have done differently knowing what I know, but then again, my life is awesome, thanks to God's grace. But still, you wonder....

Would you change anything??