It pays to whine . . .
I know I haven't been posting, but work has been kicking my ass!!
Anyway, our trip to Austin was starting out great....that is until I see Mr. Policeman turn around in his vehicle and put his lights on me. Now get this....I'm following behind my sister (she's driving my aunt's car) and another vehicle is ahead of her that she's been following so we're cruising along just fine....just a little over the speed limit.
So Mr. Officer comes up to my window and asks "do you know why I pulled you over?" In my most whiney voice, I responded "well I can guess . . . but I was just following them (pointing to the cars that have now left me in the dust)!!!
He actually laughed and said I was going 81 in a 70, then asked where I was headed....and of course, if you can imagine my voice getting anymore whiney, (it actually did)....I responded "to Austin for my cousin's graduation, but I'll probably be late now." He's still smiling, takes my license and goes to his car.
Comes back with a warning and tells me to SLOW DOWN...."yes sir, I will........NOT!!!"
Swear to goodness, coming back home, we got clocked again - this time my sister. That officer was so ready to turn on us - he had us locked and had even pulled over to turn around, but I don't know if it was us staring at him with our most sad faces or what, but he didn't come after us. We got spared, twice!! Anyway, it does pay to whine.
posted by afromabq @ 5:51 AM
16 Comments:
You need to add that to your blog list. "I'm a mom, a daughter, an ex-wife, a friend and A WHINER!" ha : )
you're killing me dog! are you really principal material??
Yeah.. I'd have to say that comment is what MAKES her principal material. You must have a black soul to succeed at such a job, with an innocent, flowery exterior... which, I think we can agree... she has mastered to an art.
Crazy woman.
As for you whining to a cop. Pah-lease. You're a woman in Texas. It's like being made of pure gold.
a golden cow...and you know how texans love their cows!UDDERLY infatuated...
why are you people my friends? ok, i did crack up at the black soul/flower comment (something annie and marlene would appreciate) and hah....she called you the crazy lady this time. and of course i cracked up at the cow reference. how could i not since fag has to somehow put a biblical reference....a touch that only she could think of in her udderly warped way.
as a friend of mine said, "you people think you know me"... argh! sold out by my own sassy spawn.... Mooooo!
I swear...it might just be me...but the first thing I thought of, about the cop and the warning....do you quickly reach for say, the top 2 buttons (3 maybe) to undo...before he makes it to the car door?
no cuz then he'd think the airbags had deployed as well!
Love it! I've never whined, nor flashed cleavage (sorry, Jerry!) but I've gotten out of tickets several other ways. More than once, I've told the cop there was a bee in my car, blah blah blah allergic-cakes and in my panic I must've pushed down on the gas pedal. Still can't believe it works.
Or the time I ran a stoplight, told the cop I was colorblind and got confused. He was going to let that one go but get me for not wearing my seatbelt. Until I pointed out that since it was summer, I wasn't wearing a bra under my tank top and the seatbelt strap crossed my chest at a very uncomfortable place and chafed my left nipple. He said based on originality alone, he couldn't bring himself to ticket me.
The best story is fairly long, but in a nutshell, I told the cop that it wasn't my fault because "Radar Love' was on the radio and it's a moral imperative to speed while it's playing. He laughed and let me go. I think it helped that I turned up the radio for him to prove it really was playing. I'm sure that will never work again, but I still speed to that song. LOL.
After proofing this, it occurs to me I should be ashamed...yet, I'm not. (Sorry for the long-winded comment! I tend to ramble sometimes...)
jer-first, just ignore the anon comment...she's out there...plus, she's always wanted air bags and suffers from continuous deployment.
kc-that was AWESOME! i loved that you totally rambled and gave us your exploits...radar love will always remind me of san diego and cruising w/my cuz out there. i could never get away with the no bra thing...but am glad that some woman out there could!!
"some woman out there"? hellooooo? what are we...chopped liv-ah?!
i'm sorry igrl, some day you really need to experience this because it makes your year-that's how good it is. i mostly whine too my friends and sometimes family, although it doesn't really work for me w/them since they just tell me to shut up or have cheese also...
I've never told you to shut up. I just roll my eyes in silence...
Actually, I've never gotten myself out of a ticket, though I've never actually tried. My one warning came b/c I was genuinely honest with the cop and told him that I honestly didn't remember the past 5 minutes I had been driving...
It was after practice, I was tired... he sympathized.
Other than that I've got two speeding tickets (one for going 20 over and one for going 12) and my very first ticket I ever got was for an aggressive lane change.
The lamest thing I've ever heard of in my life, to this day. I should have fought it... instead I decided to hide it's existance from my mother for 7 months.
The expression on her face when the insurance company told her was priceless...
awesome way to get out of a ticket! i just show 'em my teacher union card and i speed on my way! :)
brat-don't you roll those eyes at me....i'll have to hit you w/a brush....oh yeah, that's your mom's job!
thursday-we all deserve perks in life and i'm glad this is one of yours.
normie-i've missed you this week! yeah, i won't be showing leg anytime soon since these hamhocks don't get me anywhere. :)
This is very interesting site...
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